secret stars
(originally written march 17th, 2025)
maybe if i chart out the stars, i can find out
why people come and go, why stories have to unfold.
maybe if i find the stars in a deck of cards, i can find out
why i see the world in grays, i feel wind from bullets grazing.
maybe if i hear the whispers of stars, i can find out
why i only hear static through my antenna, learning their secret tactics.
maybe if i read the prophecies from the stars, i can find out
who i am meant to be, where i go, who’s a friend or foe.
maybe if i speak to them myself, i can find out
how to be a star, grow hidden eyes, sort truths from lies.
commentary
for most of my senior year of high school, i was very suddenly obsessed with astrology, manifestation, numerology, and angels. i was delusional and trying to make sense of my feelings and find a way to justify the things i went through. looking back, i'm 90% sure it was OCD. i didn't want to accept the fact that some things are my fault or sometimes, no one is at fault and shit just sucks.