my kindred
(originally written jan. 24th, 2024)
my analog, my equivalent
my complement, my kindred
your voice lights a match in me
and my heart’s all over my cheeks
i’m smitten into smithereens
i’m glad i stuck around for us to meet
i don’t mind being your devotee
i’ve throw up my heart on my sleeve
i’m so happy that i’m floating above the sea
i can see the sun and i’m relieved
i love you as much as gravity pulls the earth and sun together to dance
as much as i imagine our hands will dovetail every day, every chance
i love you as much as birds always know where to go when it’s cold
as much as i know i’ll fly with them to your heart of gold
i love you as much as a dog will never hate their human
as much as i’ll be at your beck-and-call, i know your love isn’t an illusion
i love you as much as your singing soothes my mind
as much as chirping birds remind me i’m alive
my analog, my equivalent
my complement, my kindred
commentary
at the time i was with my queerplatonic partner for about 6 months (and friends since the year before) (and we're still together). it's also been my second relationship ever. i've grown to believe that queerplatonic love is so common and yet people are scared to say they love their friends, and view love as such a final and definitive thing. my qpp is my best friend, confidante, ride-or-die, wavelength, sun. the beginning was so surreal because i didn't think love was real, it was just exaggerated for movies.
my previous relationship felt so cold in comparison, and i began to equate asexuality with sterility. my parter is also asexual and i didn't realize it was such a core, deep thing until i talked to her about it. i don't think anyone has understood me more. i've never been telepathic with someone like this, someone who feels like my analog, my equivalent, my complement, my kindred.
she's also among the group of people who changed my life forever and pulled me out of a deep pit. when we first met and hung out, we were compared to each other about everything (in a complimentary way) and i remember it making me feel flustered because i was so in awe of meeting this other person who felt like a life-long friend, and every interaction with them felt like it was my birthday. it doesn't happen as much anymore, but every time she vocalizes my own thoughts for me, i feel that kind of joy and warmth again. i'm endlessly grateful to have my partner (and my friends) as friends.